Weaponized Procrastination

An interesting critique of gaming as an addiction - from the parental perspective.

Well then, baby talk should be relegated even further back then, if this holds up.

infoneer-pulse:

While his mother is cooing “Does baybee want his bahbah?” that 6- to 9-month-old infant may just be thinking something along the lines of “Yes, I do want my bottle!” New research indicates that infants as young as 6 months can understand the meaning of many spoken words.

“Kids at this age aren’t saying anything, they’re not pointing, they’re not walking,” study researcher Erika Bergelson, of the University of Pennsylvania, said in a statement. “But actually, under the surface, they’re trying to put together the things in the world with the words that go with them.”

» via Live Science

Well now. Is it enough of an investment if they can take care of you later on? Besides, that’s only counting direct monetary costs. What about your entire well being?

infoneer-pulse:

Kids are expensive, hitting you up for 18 years or more of food, clothing and healthcare, to say nothing of potential college expenses. As the years go by, they’re only getting more costly. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, each youngster you raise will sap $226,920 out of you by age 18. The figure is up $60,000 from 10 years ago — a 40 percent increase.

» via The Consumerist

An interesting thought on “helicopter parenting” and it’s results after college. I’d check out the comments so far as well. Aaron has a productive counterpoint to think on.

Basically she’s saying the kids whose self-esteem has been “artificially” boosted by overprotective parents have a much harder time later on as they no longer appear to be the center of the world. It’s an appealing theory, and might actually apply broadly. But Aaron’s point about how parents are always blamed should make one pause before agreeing to the point.

I think that helicopter parents can lead to detrimental outcomes for their children. By inflating their sense of self worth, decreasing the apparent difficulty of tasks, and delaying the development of some vital skills (say, cooking even) and once that help is weakened (by distance or some other pretext) then realizations that they really can’t do the things that are required for a normal existence settle in, perhaps even leading to anxiety and depression.

An interesting look into parenting and social media driven by responses to a new CA bill mandating both stronger default privacy setting on social media sites, but also parental control of children’s accounts. I find that I agree with the need for parental oversight, but that should be done by the parents, not at the State level. The commentary on how to provide safety while not stifling a teenager/child is also interesting to read about.

A slightly alarmist article on parenting young girls in this day and age.

There’s been a lot of noise about little girls acting and dressing way too sexy lately. To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t that concerned when Miley Cyrus took her clothes off, or when her then-9-year-old sister, Noah, showed up for a Los Angeles Halloween event dressed in what looked like a Goth hooker outfit. (Those crazy child stars, I said to myself.) I rolled my eyes at the YouTube clip of scantily clad 8- and 9-year-olds in a dance competition, pelvis-thrusting to Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies”; it reminded me of the show Toddlers & Tiaras — disturbing, but very different from the reality of most kids. But then I started hearing reports from my real-life friends. One complained that they only make padded training bras now and that her sixth-grader looked like a Pamela Anderson wannabe. Another called to talk about her 6-year-old’s dance-recital costume: fuchsia hotpants with heart appliqués on each buttock. The insanity seems to be trickling down to real girls — our girls. Take this so-wrong-I-hope-it’s-not-right statistic: According to a survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and cosmogirl.com, 22 percent of girls ages 13 to 19 have sent or posted nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves online.

Amy Chua’s book was about parenting. Her style is based on extrinsic motivation. How do we raise successful, intrinsically motivated children? I’m sure someone will leave book recommendations in the comments — Alfie Kohn comes to mind. However, I suspect that one of the most important factors is how we live our own lives. If we demonstrate that work and creativity can actually be fun and enjoyable, that at least sets an example. If we first solve the puzzle for ourselves, we have a better chance of helping others to find their answer.

This explains more than the previous WSJ article, and allows a bit more wriggle room for “western-style” parenting. However, it does seem clear (to me and to psychologists) that coddling your children, or at the very least, overindulging them risks poorer performance. Inculcating self-discipline should rank higher up on many parent’s radars and they shouldn’t back away from the sterner measures that are required in order to do so.

Firmer parenting won’t fix the education system in the US, but it would be a much better start than we have now. Parents who loudly complain that their kid’s schools are terrible might want to consider putting in some work themselves rather than endlessly complaining. You’re empowered as well; you can teach your kids.

It could be that I was homeschooled, but I know that if more parents got involved in the education of their children, even if it’s just insisting that work gets done in front of them, that kids would learn more and respect school more.